More of my occasional series of exciting poems and vital facts about the Star Wars universe. Last time we looked at Padme, pretend secret identity of Amidala which made no sense. Today I present a lovely acrostic about Liam Neeson's less exciting version of Bryan from Taken, and some of my favourite quotations. Yes everyone, it's Q!
Q
Qui Gon Jinn
Quiet and dignified
Unusually handsome for a Jedi
Idiotic hairdo notwithstanding
Grooming his Padawan,
Obi Wan, is his desire
(Not like that)
Jar Jar caused him to grimace
Immense Jedi patience required to endure the prattling amphibian
Now some kind of floating phantom spirit
Never really explained, that one
Quotations
Here are my top five quotations from Star Wars, in reverse order.
5. ‘I stick my neck out for no-one.’
Han’s credo, concisely expressed. Also a direct dialogue lift from Rick in Casablanca. My old tutor Alan MacDonald always used to say Star Wars was, basically, Casablanca in space. At the time I mocked him furiously. "Where are the spaceships and lightsabres?" I chortled. Turns out he was right. Piss.
4. ‘Ho ho ho, bantha poodoo.’
Jabba’s contemptuous reply to most things, which, if it translates as I think it does, should really have got the film a PG rating.
3. ‘So be it.. Jedi.’
Everything Ian McDairmid says is brilliant, but this is my favourite, partly because he says it with real venom, but also because he is implicitly acknowledging that Luke’s choices do indeed signal the return to the universe of Jedi Knights. These days I have rather cheapened it, in my own life, by using the phrase to acknowledge pretty much any decision about anything. "Do you want a cup of tea?" "No thanks, but could you get me some juice?" "So be it... Jedi!"
2. ‘Looks like I’m going nowhere.’
Kick ass sulkage from young Luke, having been denied the chance to go to ‘the academy’ and have lots of sex and smoke space-weed. Only spoiled by his rather more contrite qualification that he is, actually, going to play with his droids.
1. ‘You rebel scum.’
Brilliantly delivered spitball of venom, spat onto the screen by an actor who had clearly been waiting his entire life to say just exactly that. In his mind, this film is called 'The exciting adventures of Imperial Commander Guy' and he's about to save all of space. And in another, slightly cooler universe, he's entirely correct.
I still see Alan McD kicking about, you know. He was my tutor too. Wonderfully dry wit, that man, and sharp as a box of pins. Once made the finely tuned observation that, as underpants were meant for "catching drips", what was the point spending lots of money on designer smalls?
ReplyDeleteIn other news, I concur with your findings. Generally. In a way.