2012: Movies that Rob saw (Part One)

2012 was a year in which I did not get to the cinema much. Possibly because I was playing video games all the time. In the hours I spent playing Fallout 3 over the Summer, I could have easily have watched every film on the BFI top 100 list. But would I have enjoyed myself as much as I did when I opened that cellar door and let zombies into the Tower of  Arrogant Smug Wankers? It seems unlikely. So, Singing in the Rain, if you want me to get round to watching you, maybe you want to think about incorporating some Bullet-Time death sequences, or include a bit where I get an alien laser pistol.

Anyway. I have seen some films, and some of the were great, and some were merely OK. Some of the weren't even from this year, but that's just something you're going to have to live with. In a world of confusion, uncertainty and news stories that make you want to punch the world in the face, there's one thing upon which you can rely. My opinions on films are correct, and yours should follow obediently behind.

The Hunger Games

I read a lot of reviews of this film trying hard not to compare it to Battle Royale, the ace school kids-kill-each-other splatter feat it so resembles. Why be coy? The basic premise is startlingly similar, but this is far more colourful and fun and lives in a very different place to its grungier, nastier predecessor. In many respects this is an impressively smart film, sneaking subversive commentary about the shortcomings of Western culture into mainstream acceptance, all by looking a bit like another Potter/Twilight extravaganza. It's pretty dark stuff, telling us that we'll accept the death of children before we dare disrupt the status quo - prescient sentiments post Sandy Hook - but it has the kind of imagery that goes well on lunch boxes.

On the other hand, I feel uneasy about the sanitisation of the violence in the film, which I think is less about smuggling through a message than it is about selling more tickets to children. The fight scenes, of which there are many, were edited down to appear bloodless and less visceral,  all to achieve a lower rating (and thus a wider audience and this more money). This I do not like. This is a film where the violence is written as shocking, but comes over as relatively easy. I've no criticism of the film makers here - the original edit is apparently quite powerful. But some marketing bod somewhere decreed that a safer cut would bring in more money for sweets, and so we have horrible violence re-edited to seem more palatable. 

Overall, though, a pretty good movie. visually stunning, well acted and with an intriguing bunch of ideas bouncing around a credibly drawn world. I look forward to the sequel, which I believe to be called "Hunger Games 2: Hungrier Games".

Evil Media Mogul... could be anybody...

Pirates, in an Adventure with Scientists!

Despite my job being stupidly easy, consisting as it does of showing people movies and then sending them off with video cameras so I can get on with writing nonsense on the internet, I sometimes have a day that makes me sad. One such day occurred early this year, and I found myself  utterly fed up of the world and everything in it. Caroline, who has the exclusive super-power of dealing with my fluctuating moods, suggested we go see this film, then get pizza. This was, in Super Hero terms, was the equivalent of flying round the earth really, really fast. That is to say, it worked.

Pirates! is a wonderful, life affirming film that vibrates with joy, wit and a vigorous, all consuming silliness. It is the tale of a Pirate who wants to be the Best Pirate but isn't really very good at it and... you know what? it really isn't important. The plot is as daft and inconsequential as the storytelling is deft and inventive. We're in a ridiculous yet plausible world full of enjoyable characters going on bonkers missions in extraordinary places. It is laugh out loud funny, both for its playful visuals and wonderful, surreal dialogue. "It's called Blood Island," explains one pirate, "because it's exactly the same shape as some blood!"

I suggest you see this film, even if you are not sad. It is made of awesome.

By the Beard of Brian Blessed!

Brave

This year's Pixar film is merely  OK. Not nearly as good as the Marillion album of the same name, from 1994. but then, what is?

It's very beautiful, of course. Pixar are moving into nearly-real human characters, skirting carefully around the uncanny valley and giving us a Princess we can believe in and root for. The story is straightforward and satisfying, and there are a good few laughs. The problem is, I think, that Pixar films have set such a high bar that it's difficult not to feel let down by a movie that is merely 'good'.

The weird thing about Brave is that it feels very small. Smaller than Wall-E, smaller than Up, smaller than the excellent Toy Story 3 (which remains my personal favourite and still makes me weepy when I think of the end). I just didn't care enough. So, good as you are, Brave, you remain one of my least favourite films of the year. Sorry.

2012 was a big year for people with bows and arrows.

See you next time, for more cultural highlights of 2012.