Morning everyone. My you look fine in those spectacles.
I've written a new poem and I thought I'd share it with you. I'm hoping it will make you love me more, and think of me as a deep, interesting, soulful kind of man. As opposed to the ramshackle-idiot-falling-down-a-hill that I actually am.
I wrote it for a charity gig I did on Saturday. That's right -charity! Not only am I a poet (amazing) but also I do things for charity (selfless). If you would like a picture of me to hang above your fireplace, I would totally understand.
The charity in question is called Christians Against Poverty. They help people get out of debt - people who might lose their homes, or wind up at food banks, that sort of thing. I'm not sure how they help. They don't give them money, I know that much. I think it's more to do with putting them in touch with the right people, writing letters, helping them plan finances - that kind of thing. It sounds hard, doesn't it? That's why I support them by showing off on a stage, which is loads easier.
Their website is here, if you're interested.
The name is weird, though, isn't it? Christians Against Poverty. It kind of suggests that there are some Christians out there who are very firmly in favour of poverty. Maybe there are. It's a funny old world. And Christians can be a right lot of jerks, much of the time. But these guys are good. They're what I think Christians probably should be like.
Here's the poem.
Christians Against Everything
The meeting of Christians Against Everything closes
With a list of the things they think Jesus opposes
There are Christians against dancing
There are Christians against joy
Christians against boys who would kiss other boys
Christians Against Fast Food
Christians Against Pride
Christians against Meetings - they sit outside
Christians Against Words like Nipple and Bum
There are Christians against everything under the sun
There’s the Christians against noise
And the Christians against silence
And they’re kept from fighting
By the Christians against violence
They meet once a week
With their various phobias
In a ten minute hate
That makes everything cosier
But tonight something happens that spoils all their fun
The door swings wide open
Just as the meeting is done
There stand some newcomers
A group everyone knows
And someone quite audibly whispers “Oh no”
It’s the Christians Against Poverty
Not them.
The Christians Against Confrontation try to creep out of the meeting
The Christians Against Swearing try to bite back expletives
The Christians Against Lateness point out the time
The Christians Against Noise do an elaborate mime
The message is clear, we don’t want to listen
To the things you guys hold in opposition
Cause the Christians Against Poverty aren’t like the rest of em
They’ve looked at the world and they’ve read the New Testament
They’ve come to the conclusion that yes, there are battles to fight
And it’s good to oppose things that clearly aren’t right
But if you’re in a fury at all the gays on TV
When there’s people at food banks just to get through the week
Then perhaps your priorities have gone somewhat astray
Between the things that should make you cry
And the things you just didn’t like anyway
The Christians Against Alcopops might have a point
But if there’s no anger at homelessness
That thinking’s out of joint
You can hate Iron Maiden if you think that will help
But there’s people in this city who can’t afford milk
The crowds at the meeting shuffle their feet
This kind of defiance isn’t easy or cheap
It’s not shouting at TV screens
Or ranting online
It’s giving. It’s feeling. It’s touching. It’s trying.
The hall slowly empties. The Christians Against Making Difficult Decisions went first.
A few stay behind and prepare for the worst.
The vision is clear. The vision is simple.
Christians Against Debt. Unemployment. Addiction.
Against a world where this isn’t everyone’s mission.
Against a world where
‘Against Poverty’
Needs to be added to the word Christian.
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