There's something in The Fog.

Many years ago John Carpenter made a wonderful film about fog. It was called, with a directness rarely seen nowadays, 'John Carpenter's The Fog'. I have just watched the remake, which eschews such solipsism and is content to be called 'The Fog' and not, for example,  'Some Fog, but not John Carpenter's The Fog, my Fog'.

Much to my surprise, I really liked it. A good remake! Well I never.  Remakes are almost always rubbish, generally missing the point of what made the original special in the first place and giving you a horrible experience that is all the more upsetting for containing a faint taste of the original. Kind of like vomiting up a really nice wine. 'Mmm', you think, as puke flavoured shiraz shoots out of your nose, 'this was much nicer on the way in.'

The worst offender of recent years was Rob Zombie's truly idiotic 2007 remake of The Best Horror Film of All Time, that being 1978's 'Halloween'. (Note: not 'John Carpenter's Halloween.' He was young, then, and humble.) There are so many problems with Zombie's remake that it is difficult to start listing them without descending into a feverish spiral of everlasting hatred that renders one unable to speak, stand, or do anything beyond stare in horror at the wall, not seeing the wall, looking through the wall. So I won't.

(Even though it was awful. And stupid. And poor.)

But for now, I'll leave it alone.

(And badly directed. And an insult to the human race.)

But that's for another time.

(And just plain thick.)


Moving on. There has been one really good remake of a horror movie in recent years, and that has been Zack Snyder's mental re-imagining of 'Dawn of the Dead'. And, if we go back a little further, to the 80s when I was younger and possessed of voluminous hair,  we have 'The Thing'. Sorry - 'John Carpenter's The Thing.' A great remake, which is about to be remade again. But on the whole, remakes suck.

In fact, if we're honest, most horror movies suck. I watch a lot of them, and though they please me in a base 'Oh look, someone's head has come off and that girl will probably get naked in response" kind of way, they are mostly a bit rubbish. The ones that are good, however, are wonders to behold. As we enter the spooky skies of the Halloween season, I thought I would share with you some of my favourites.

I'll just do one tonight, and briefly, for I have rambled enough. It seems appropriate to sing the praises of the reason I started to write tonight: 'John Carpenter's The Fog'. It's about zombie ghost pirates, which should be all you need to go and seek it out immediately. Having just watched the remake I am a little hazy on the plot details of the original, but I do know that it features the following:

Fog. Lots of spooky, pirate-concealing fog, that charges up the street and gets into your house through gaps and such. It is lit most beautifully, and probably tastes like evil candy floss.

Jamie Lee Curtis. She is good at screaming and being attacked by monsters. In this, she does both.

The cool and spooky line that provides my title tonight: 'There's something in the Fog'.

A classic 'small town under seige' feel, that keeps the dramatic tension... er... tense.

A small but well formed bunch of characters who make the town seem real and make you genuinely care when they are in peril.

A great, minimalist Carpenter theme that suggests all manner of eerie goings on, and brings a mythic feel to proceedings.

Look, it's me, John Carpenter's The Fog

So there. Go watch it on DVD. With the windows closed.

More to follow. Probably.